Do you ever have those days at your job where the words "I quit" nearly make it out? Today was one of those days for me. To be honest the whole month of June was filled with that. I work with a specific minority of people, namely mentally retarded, and oddly enough it has nothing to do with the daily stresses of them, it has to do with the guardians who think that they know what's best for our people. I love the two women I work with so much that I keep this lousy 10/hr job, plus the 16 hr over night where I get minimum wage. I can barely make car payments, cell phone bills, insurance payments, and normal life things. I'm twenty-two, living at home with my parents, and had to withdraw from my perfect college before the school year even began.
I feel like a failure.
I had a fight with my boyfriend today, the boyfriend who just lost his mother to cancer less than two weeks ago. I feel horrible, but I'm so stubborn that I won't eat crow and say "sorry". I wouldn't mean it at this point. He's not the same guy I fell for. I understand he lost his mother, but that doesn't mean that he takes it out on me.
June in a nutshell was literally this...
-I love you for the first time; I was drunk
-My cat has cancer, no fixing it
-I went to orientation fell in love with the school, graduation date 2015 for a BSA in Psychology
-Boyfriend leaves for what was going to be a week
-Boyfriends mother passes
-Car racked up $300 worth of fixes on what as to be a $60 oil change/tire rotation
-Bill for college comes in $10,000 due by July 26th
-Withdrew from said college and bawled my eyes out because, well what's my future without school?
That was June. July has brought a desperate interview with a job bank tomorrow for anything that will pay me what I'm making now for the full 40 hours and not 30 at whatever it is. Fun fact, my paycheck per week is 286. Yeah. Hence the I quit portion.
That's a load of ranting in this blog. I'm sure there'll be more in a few days.
